Enjoy the Journey? Ya Right!

I figured I’d write my first Blog about the name of my web site, Njoythejourney. I chose this name because I want to share the tools and ideas that I’ve found to enjoy the journey of our day to day life more .

I enjoy life a lot right now. But, for many of my adult years, I didn‘t. Ya maybe I enjoyed a couple hours each day or a couple hours each Friday and Saturday night after a few glasses of a good Chardonay, but now I enjoy every day all day except for about an hour or so when things get a little wonky and I allow myself to become overwhelmed. Right now, my life is pretty much a full blown, psychedelic love fest. (Ok, I’m exaggerating ) But, I was thinking about the reasons why many of us don’t enjoy the majority of our days and for that matter lives, and these are the top 4 reasons I came up with?

Reason # 1. “How the hell could I with all these problems?” You might be thinking, well you’re enjoying life cause you don’t have any problems, but I can’t cause I just lost my job or I have this health problem or I’ve just been a victim of Identity Theft. etc. The truth is that everybody has problems but the key is to not worry and obsess on them. Worrisome thoughts attract more worrisome thoughts and they eventually take over your mind like some sort of mind controlling alien. We all know worry doesn’t make anything one bit better. Worry causes fear which builds and builds until it’s like a giant snowball rolling down a mountain out of control. When we’re worrying, we usually end up making bad decisions anyways because we’re trying to prevent another bad thing from happening. Worry steals joy like no other.

Instead of worrying we could a) Meditate which stops or at least slows down the obsessive thoughts. When we stop the obsessive thoughts we immediately feel relief. Try repeating a Mantra like “Everything is gonna be ok”, or “It’ll all work out “.B) Try to think of the best aspect of the “situation”. (if we stop calling it a problem that helps too) . Eg. “ My mom does have cancer, but at least she has a lot of good doctors working with her and there are so many success stories about people that are treated and go on to live healthy lives for many years. And you should see all the love and support she is getting from neighbors and family members.” Or, c) Think about something else completely, that is going well. Seriously, continuing to think the same 3 thoughts about that subject isn’t solving anything. Release and let go of it and trust that God or the universe is taking care of it. Do something that helps get your mind off it and feel better like listen to music, read a book, go for a walk, put on some Michael Jackson and sing into your hair brush, etc.

Reason # 2. “Life is serious and hard.” “I have a very stressful job and too much work and there’s the seals being killed for their fur and global warming and swine flu and aids and crime and acne and so on and so on. Well, I strongly suggest breaking up with your television or at least STOP WATCHING SO MUCH NEWS. It’s all bad and who really gives a crap what Paris Hilton is doing this week. You won’t miss anything except maybe for that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Seriously if there’s something important you really need to know like a giant meteor is due to hit earth so we all need to go in the basement, I think someone will tell you about it.
Sometimes it’s just the little day to day stuff that happens that takes the wind out of our sails. And usually it happens all in the same day. Your hairdresser gives you a mullet , you get a call from your 6 year old sons teacher that he’s shown his underwear to Amy for the second time this week, the Food Mart is out of Captain Crunchies, one of your knitting needles is lost and ….you get the picture. Don’t take life so seriously. Laugh stuff off. Who knows, Maybe you’ll start a new trend and mullets will come back in style. Amy really should know what boys underwear look like. She’s been too dam sheltered anyways. And, there Is a really cool spy toy in Frooty Loops this week.

Reason # 3. “I’m gonna start enjoying life once I ……get that promotion, lose 5o pounds, move into my dream house, make more money, become a professional hula dancer, my children grow up and move to Florida, (you get the idea). Have you ever noticed that when one of these things does happen, we’re happy for a day or two, then we’re back to the same empty feeling. That’s cause joy and peace don’t come from anything outside us. We seem to know this deep down inside but we can’t seem to get this through our thick skulls. Right inside every one of us is “the peace that passes all understanding.” That’s the coolest part, but the part most Westerners don’t believe. Quieting our minds and becoming present helps us overcome that “waiting till” thinking. Echart Tolle’s The Power of the Now is a great read for this.

One of my favorite quotes, “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

Reason # 4. “There are all these stupid and mean people making my life suck” . “My boss gives me too much work. My employees keep making mistakes. My spouse doesn’t help with dinner and my kids won‘t get ready for school without me screaming and yelling . If everybody just behaved the way I wanted them to, then I’d really be happy.” You may be right about all of these things, but this is a sure fire road to frustration and despair. I hat to say it but if we want to be happy we have to let go of the control and accept the way they are. We gotta stop trying to change anybody or even stop wishing they were different.

I hear you . You’re yelling, “BITE ME! He should help and those little demons have to learn to be ready in time.“ Believe me, sometimes I wish I could just beat them all into submission too, but trying to change anyone really doesn’t work. They may fake it while you’re looking, but as soon as your back is turned they’re gonna go back to their way of doing things. It also causes resentment in them and you and therefore a problem in your relationship. But, most of us would rather be right than happy. I’m not saying that you should let anyone walk on you and you should make dinner every night , but maybe just continue to make dinner 3 times per week and let everyone help themselves to goldfish crackers and string cheese the other nights. At least there won’t be dishes to wash. Really, the world’s not gonna come to an end and who cares what the pediatrician thinks when the kids tell her.

Try to focus on the things you appreciate about that person like, “He does mow the lawn nicely, gives me good foot rubs sometimes, we have great conversations at times and he has a great ass.” See those people as teachers of one of life’s best lessons, “How to be happy in spite of anyone else’s behavior.”
It comes down to the focus of our thoughts, since thoughts create feelings. So choose the good ones. One of my favorite quotes, “I choose beauty as my focus. Beauty is all around me, in every person, every thing, even in the worst of circumstances. “

- Banny